Adding Detail To Sentences

Every day at camp bentzon Mr Jacobsen was our coach on the confidence course.

Mr Jacobsen was our coach on the scary and terrifying

confidence course.

Mr Jacobsen was our coach on the confidence course and the small version was con course.

 I was nervous about sailing cause I was going to fall out

I was nervous as when I was about sailing camp.

I was scared when We went abseiling.

We went abseiling when I got up I went down so fast cause I thought I was going to fall.

Maui and the fish

Dog

We had to make a dog on the paper.

Oloti camp

it is  8km.

in Auckland.

sports,swimming,fishing,walking,ORIENTEERING,FITNESS TRAIL.

it’s like fishing and sports walking.

I did.

it is a big tree .

At Athletes

At Athletes   I came 1 and 2 two time's again in Athletes  .Then I had morning tea after morning tea I went to the discus and came 1.


The next time I came 1 again in softball throw then Ms Garden whites my name down on the paper for coming 1 place out of the year 5 boys .Then I all the boy's were all angry at the same time as it was finish and then we went to go and eat.




The End

Guy Falks Day

On guy falks day it was amazing.The guy falks was from my brother and he brought a Bump pack and my cousin brought 2 bad boys and we fun.

Then I had my own firework to myself.Then we all did our own firework at home.Then my saved some for the next day and we did.

The fireworks were all at and then there was 2 more at my nan’s and then we lighted it up all up again.

The End

Oloti Whisper

                              One day a boy called James and he was 7 years old.

The boy James went to a shed and he went closer to the shed and James heard a whisper coming from the shed but no one was there but maybe it was just a cow going like this moooo-moooo.The James went even closer to the shed and James heard a whisper again but it was maybe the again going like this again moooo-moooo.

The next day James went to go outside and and play with his friend but his dad said don’t go on to the ramp because truck loader comes and  puts all the lamp’s in the truck loader to take it get turned into meat.James said why do they get turned into meat because they have to turn it into meat.

Then James went to the shed and he was helping his dad to clean the shed and to get all of the eme’s and the lamp’s to get them befor it rain’s.Then James and his dad went inside and went to sleep.

After James went to the shed and he heard a whisper the third time but it was just the cow going like moooo-moooo. Then James went inside and he went to sleep because he was tired and then he went to sleep.

Olotipaoo the accident

The Accidentl  

The boy James had to go and wash the milking shed and he had to go and get the cow’s from the paddock to go and milk the cow’s.The next time he had to go and take the sucking minchie of the udder from all the author cow’s and had to do the author cow’s to and he had to take of the sucking minchie and it was finish.

The next day James had to go and to see if the all the calf are not gone away from the mother cow’s.The boy James was on his quad bike and he was going to milk the cow’s the next day and he was bring all of the cow’s to the milking shed to milk them and he finished it.

The next time James went to had breakfast in the morning and he finished his breakfast and he went to go on his quad bike and ride it after he played he had to go and milk the cow’s again and he was putting the sucking minchie on and he put it of.

The next day James went on his quad bike and he was playing on his quad bike and he was showing to his brother when he came and his name was Jack and when he was showing off he was riding around and after that he crashed in the tree and his brother called the ambulance came and help him and he went to the hospital.

The End.